It’s been five months since my Father-In-Law passed away. There are days when it doesn’t feel real. There are still moments when the pain is so fresh, it catches me unaware and I have to stop to take a deep breath before I can go forward again. Then, there are the days (like today) when I am astonished how much time has passed! I find myself thinking “Ok, it’s time. Life moves on and you need to do the same.”
Part of me completely shut down in November. So many things were happening all at once, I had to step away from My Kitchen in order to deal with everything. Unfortunately, stepping away from my blog and social media, meant sacrificing opportunities, allowing myself to become a victim of self-doubt and anger, and the worst was giving up my heart and my voice. I let other people dictate what to share (or not to share) and I have felt powerless, friendless and overwhelmingly sad.
It hasn’t all been terrible. There are moments you forget about it. You catch yourself singing in the shower again. You discover things that were painful, don’t hurt quite as much. There are days when you have energy, ideas and a desire to do new things again! You are offered opportunities and saying “Yes!” doesn’t mean bad things will follow.
Everyone grieves at their own pace. In my own time, in my own way, I’m working through and getting back to my heart. I’m tired of feeling as though “I can’t!” There WILL be new recipes. There WILL be new life! There WILL be (and have been) new opportunities to do the things I LOVE!! Heck, I’m about to graduate from The Master Canners and Preservers Course and be a certified MFP! I’m baking cookies for a No Kid Hungry Bake Sale. I’m going to be a Grandma in a few months! Life is busy and I am constantly reminding myself how full and truly BLESSED it is!
THANK YOU to all of you who are reading this. I know some of you may have felt neglected or thought I’d abandoned my blog. It’s not the case. I’m still here! YOU are a big blessing in my life and every comment and E-mail is a sign to me there is hope and all is not lost in my blogging world!
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have recipes to write and some life to catch up on. See you VERY soon!
MUCH love and gratitude to all of you!
Sara~
So sorry for your loss. I know how hard it is to get back to life when the feeling of missing someone is so overwhelming. Even though I only met you a little more than a week ago, I knew that you are someone who doesn’t sit around idly while life happens. I’m glad I was right. Cheers to you, Sara!
Thank you Jeff! XOXO
Sara, I have been at the pretty much same place as you in the last few months and going to Cam Blogaway inspired me to get out of the rut and plunge forward. It’s time to leave the painful and ugly behind and loom forward to the days that come.
Good winds to you!
Btw, I cannot imagine that you are ole enough to have a grandbaby! Awesome! XOXO
Lana, thank you for your kind words. I agree! Camp Blogaway was a beacon of light to remember the world was still out there, ready and waiting. Let’s leave behind the painful together and race for the sun, shall we?
I can’t believe I am going to be an Oma! I suppose that’s what happens when you start having babies when you’re just a baby yourself. ;-)
You’re gonna be a grandma? Best news ever!
Yes, I am! My daughter is due the end of June. We are very excited!
Good for you, Sara! A well written piece, too! xx
Thank you Christina. I appreciate that!