A few months ago, I started a series called “Weigh In Wednesdays” where I shared with you the beginnings of my weight-loss journey and I hoped to share every week with you things that were happening in my world and how I was doing. What happened is I freaked out about so many people seeing it! Essentially, I felt as if I had taken a giant flood-light, pointed it at the darkest of my fears and yelled for everyone to come look. Like a scared little kid, after a few weeks, I tried to cover it up. I didn’t want anyone to read it because I wasn’t too successful. I didn’t want you to know I was struggling. I didn’t want to share my health and family issues because it felt too personal. So, I moved the whole thing to a new site so as not to “interfere” with the recipes and things I share here. Just because my kitchen isn’t perfect doesn’t mean the rest of my life is imperfect, right? At least that’s what I wanted to pretend was true. Oh brother! Looking back, it’s a bit ridiculous. What’s the point of admitting my kitchen is imperfect, if I can’t share the rest of my imperfect life too? These things are all part of me. Perfectly, imperfect me.
After a few months of posting over at that other site, I was frustrated! It was a new blog, with a completely different layout and program. I hated it! It wasn’t comfortable. It was more work than it was worth to learn their system, add new email, try to start a mailing list and everything else. What a pain! On the bright side, I did learn a lot about myself through this process. I learned I can do new things and if they don’t work out, I can stop doing them. Imagine that?!?
Clearly, I needed (and still need) to make different choices to be successful on this blogging journey! I’m not talking success in wealth or the amount of stuff in my house. I’m talking about being honest and happy with who I am and not being afraid to share it. I’m talking about loving what I do again. I’m talking about accepting that I’m not alone in this world so I should damn well stop acting like it and hiding who I am!
I want to be me! And I want to be my morning coffee. I want to be hot (Oh yeah!), sweet and creamy! I want to be fresh, classic, delicious. I want to help and inspire people through their day, every day. It seems like a big order, doesn’t it? (No coffee shop pun intended!) How in the world do I even begin?
Well, let me tell you a story. Several years ago I was interviewing to be a personal assistant to a very wealthy gas station owner, who just happened to have a little coffee shop as a “side business.” He was also looking for a manager for his coffee shop. I did not want that job. I’d already been working as a manager for a major coffee chain and I really wanted something different! I always thought I’d make a damn good personal assistant/secretary for someone, so this job seemed perfect! On the day of final interviews, two of us were in the waiting room, waiting to meet with the owner. Consequently, (it was a total setup) this gentleman’s personal banker was also waiting to see him. The other candidate was poised and professional. She sat waiting, very patiently, not saying a word. The banker introduced herself to us and sat down as well. Me? I started talking. Introduced myself to the banker, said hello to the other candidate and started asking questions: “How are you? How long have you been a banker? What do you like best about it?” We had a great conversation! Then, the secretary came out and called the other candidate back for her interview. When she was gone, the banker turned to me and asked “Are you here for the personal assistant job or the store manager job?” I told her I was there to be the boss’s new personal assistant. (Cocky of me, wasn’t it?) She looked me up and down and said “You’re not the right type. You’re a front-of-the-house girl. Not a back-of-the-house girl. Tell him you want the store manager job.” I was shocked. What? How could she say that? She didn’t know how organized I am! She didn’t know how I make lists of lists and can remember details like nobody’s business. How could she assess so quickly and then dismiss me as not a good candidate? That moment has always stuck with me because it made me mad. I’m a good person! I can do good things!! It’s taken me years to realize what that banker saw in just a few moments. I am at my best when I’m with people. Engaging and interacting, sharing a smile, encouraging, teaching, occasionally being too loud and basically connecting with the world and the amazing people in it. I would have been miserable in that job. I really AM a front-of-the-house person and that’s not a bad thing. It’s who I am. I didn’t get the job, but I was offered the managers position and I turned it down.
What does that story have to do with being myself? I realized with the new site that it wasn’t what I thought I wanted. It was back-of-the-house, hiding from the public stuff. That’s not who I am. It’s not me. I want to share with you! I want to teach, help and learn new things too. I want to be able to smile and make my life happy!
So, I’m moving Weigh In Wednesdays back. I’m just going to share all of me, with all of you. We won’t hide. We’ll sit around the kitchen table and get to know each other. Share stories, coffee, and snacks. We’ll laugh. We’ll cry. We’ll giggle. Most importantly, hopefully, we’ll just connect. In the end, we’re all just humans trying to get through, we may as well do it together! What do you say? Are you in? I hope so!
See you next week!
P.S. If you want to see the first Weigh in Wednesday post, you can read it here: Tires!
P.S. S. If you want to read what I wrote on the other site, you can find it here: Sara Weighs In Just don’t sign up for the newsletter. It doesn’t exist.